Dear students-
Now that most of the stories are published, the task you have to do is the following.
Please read all of the stories and comment on at least THREE of them.
The idea is to give feedback to your classmates based on the assessment criteria we worked on in class. So tell them what you liked: surprises, openers, imagery, etc. Also, don't feel shy to ask for clarification if necessary. (Is there anything you didn't inderstand?)
At the same time, try to make genuine and meaningful comments about stories that interested YOU.
Finally, make sure your name is somewhere when you make the comment.
The deadline for this activity is 6 May.
Good reading and congratulations for your writing
alfonso
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Friday, May 11, 2012
Micro fiction assessment checklist (tentative)
This story…(tick as applicable)
Makes us laugh or at least smile – it is funny
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Presents a powerful, captivating imagery
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Allows us to look at daily life and familiar situations in a new light (comic? tragic?)
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Is rich in metaphor
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Is rich in irony
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Has a final sentence or ending that makes us want to reread the story
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Manages to defeat our expectations – it’s surprising
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Implies a lot about the characters involved, despite the short length
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Is tight – no unnecessary detail
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Has powerful openers / closers
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Is open to different interpretations
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Makes us relate to one or more of the characters
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Has a moral or a lesson to be learnt
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Has an attractive title
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Can you find these qualities in any of the stories we have read? Which?
Betrayed
She thought that they made a great couple. They were planning to marry soon.
One afternoon when she went out to work she saw her great love with another woman. She decided to follow them. She saw them going into a hotel. She only felt hatred for him.When she get home she pretended to have seen nothing. But the following days were spent following her boyfriend. She could not believe it.Months later came the wedding day.All the guests were there, the groom was waiting for the bride. Finally her car arrived, but inside came only a messenger with a note that said, "I know everything"
By Mercedes Pérez
One afternoon when she went out to work she saw her great love with another woman. She decided to follow them. She saw them going into a hotel. She only felt hatred for him.When she get home she pretended to have seen nothing. But the following days were spent following her boyfriend. She could not believe it.Months later came the wedding day.All the guests were there, the groom was waiting for the bride. Finally her car arrived, but inside came only a messenger with a note that said, "I know everything"
By Mercedes Pérez
Admiration
Every
morning he sat in the subway car in the hope of seeing this girl that caused him
great admiration. One day he saw her at the door and went to help her.
- Don't
worry, people want to go to work on four wheels and mine are standard.
She smiled.
By Laura Ruiz
Memories
She put his hand in the water while the boat was rolling. She needed to refresh. Finally she could remember the days before without feeling sadness, She even smiled remembering good times. She would miss him, but it was timefor each to start a new life. A white bird landed on the boat.
By Patricia Soto
By Patricia Soto
Faces
David was tired of his complex, so he gave the surgeon pictures of the faces he wishes he had, including his boyfriend's.
When the doctor came out to the waiting room to announce that the operation was over, he paled when he saw David's face there, but David was even whiter when he saw himself in the mirror.
By Marta Franco
Oyster
It had never noticed
either such an acid smell, or such a strong pain - then suddenly there was total
darkness. In the distance it could hear laughs, music, while it was
rolling across a narrow corridor.
It was calm in the
sea. Sometimes it got into dark caves, but when it heard: Honey,
these oysters are delicious!, it knew that they were speaking about it and
then, yes, it felt fear.
By Rosario Arenas
The Match
Five minutes to finish the match. My teammate Gonzalo passes me the ball and I find myself in front of the goalkeeper. I´m nervous, I know it could be the last chance to score, and all my teammates trust me. I kick the ball really hard and...
It´s a goal!! The public, my coach and my teammates congratulate me, I am very happy, but when I see a boy of the other team crying because they have lost the match, I feel a little sad, and I go to give my congratulations, and then he smiles.
By Carlos Tejedor
Bubbles
It was so nice that, when I could see her, I ran to her and, in a magical moment, we got together and enjoyed a unique moment. But suddenly she disappeared and I went on my way waiting for the next tiem to meet her. I knew it was the only possible end with a soap bubble.
By Almudena Otero
By Almudena Otero
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Siblings
Two children are playing in class. The boy says to the girl:
-"What is your mother called?"
-"Laura". Replied the little girl.
-"Just like my mommy!"
They spend a few days and give realize that they are siblings. They did not know. From that moment they were much happier.
By María Gallo
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Beautiful Way
The grandfather says: I’ll show you a beautiful present!
Grandson: what is it?;
- You continue walking and you’ll discover it.
- How much time left?;
- Very little - continue.
After 5 hours the child says: I can’t any take this anymore, what is it? The grandfather takes a stone and says: it's this!
By Cristina de Hita
Sleep
I looked up and I saw a wonderful book. Suddenly, I was going for a walk in a beach. A great wave was carrying me out to sea. When I opened my eyes, I was sitting on an elephant, in India.
"Max, wake up! We have to do the history assignment."
I waked up very scared, I didn´t know where I was. I thought that I should sleep some more.
By Sara Carretero
At the cafe
He only knew her from seeing her at his regular cafe, reading her book. Still, she loved her. It was irrational, he knew it. And he would never would have the courage to speak to her. He would be content to watch as she read. But that day he heard a voice, her voice and it addressed him, and knew he would never let her escape."
By Irene Seoane
By Irene Seoane
The Wedding
They knew it. However none of the guests suspected it. They got married, but the marriage didn't survive the honeymoon.
They realized their mistake. But they remained together. Because of the gifts.
By Silvia Monreal
Palace
-“Damned shyness, it paralyzes my articulations and blocks my thoughts!”-“Think about it - sometimes that's the answer, Clara” said her conscience.Feelings aren´t seen, words are carried by the wind but, the facts are keept in time:-“I'll send a love note, with heart shaped to the Palace!”-“And I?”
By Mª Ángeles Moya
20 Shots
Omar didn’t cry. He went out of his home, full of hate. At the back of the house, he saw Jose, it was his moment, he shot twenty times. Yes! He had killed him. No one would laugh at his family again!
He came home. Bullets had gone through the window and there were two corpses lying on the ground. Nooooooooo!
By Cristina Vidal
Friday, May 4, 2012
Cold
The door closing made no noise. For a moment it seemed that there hadn't been anyone there. Suddenly the siren of an ambulance broke the monotonous sound of the heater. Rachel sighed and, feeling cold, stared at the light thoughtfully.
By Beatriz Martin
Small
In a very small village where all the inhabitants were tiny there was a little library where there was only one book. It was such a brief book that it only had one page where you could read in miniscule letters ... "In a very small village."
By Carmen Alvarez
By Carmen Alvarez
Money or Love
She spoke with her mother, "He is perfect for me," she said while
she was buying an expensive dress.
"He gives me everything I want, I
don´t need more."
A dark day,
she realized she was wrong. He was not giving all - love was missing.
By Marta Prados
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Nobody
If I had been able to talk... If they had been able to hear me...
Maite left the huge white and green room where she had been asleep for the last two hours.
She smiled; she seemed happy...
I no longer existed...
By Natalia Ortego
Time
The past is gone, it disappeared; the future has not arrived, only the present is with us. There he is, sad,alone,wondering how life is escaping, recalling those days in which he was happy,erasing the moments he did not enjoy...
"I want to become a child again" were his last words.
By Lorena Prieto
"I want to become a child again" were his last words.
By Lorena Prieto
Between you and me
He looks at me, everyone looks at us. Everything around us is full. It breathes intelligence, pride, gullibility, passivity. However, we only care about ourselves - in silence, immersed in our gaze, enjoying our cold skin on our pedestal.
By Laura Paz
By Laura Paz
Darkness
All it was around him.
No,not everything.
Perhaps it would be best to follow the trail of light.He felt alone and lost and that light may be be his only salvation.
But again,he lost in the dark and stayed with them.
By Marta Martín
No,not everything.
Perhaps it would be best to follow the trail of light.He felt alone and lost and that light may be be his only salvation.
But again,he lost in the dark and stayed with them.
By Marta Martín
Loneliness
During dinner at an expensive restaurant she, without saying a word, was listening to her future husband talking about his business. "My mother says he's the perfect man for me" she thought. A few hours later, she lay in her bed. Finally, she felt affection, warmth, comfort, welfare and protection. He was hugging her pillow.
By Melissa García
By Melissa García
The Great Match
He had trained so much for that match. It was being difficult, but he needed to win.
Suddenly, everything turned off. There had been a short circuit and the match had disappeared. Angrily, he took off the Wii remote control from his right arm. Then, the one from his left arm, and went to sleep.
By Irene Fernández
Suddenly, everything turned off. There had been a short circuit and the match had disappeared. Angrily, he took off the Wii remote control from his right arm. Then, the one from his left arm, and went to sleep.
By Irene Fernández
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Smells
And in the bakery where I am, I start to get a delicious smell of freshly baked muffins, I am hungry...now smells like chocolate croissants....I want to try....A guy comes into the bakery, He looks at me, I look at him...I close my eyes...I lose my jelly bean buttons, my legs melt in your mouth...
By Álvaro Escobar
By Álvaro Escobar
The Mode
10:35 AM: " Number 196, table 8 ", the beginning or the end of a way. There is only sad people and an amazed silence.
I go towards the table in search of hope.
I find a civil servant with little desire to work. He says to me:
"Sorry, the schedule was only until 10.30 AM."
By Mar López
The Subway
A pregnant woman enters in the subway. Everyone keeps their head down and pretends to be sleeping. Finally I decide to get up and offer my seat - then everyone wakes up.
"I'm not pregnant!" she says.
"I'm not pregnant!" she says.
It's decided. From now on, I'll always pretend to be asleep.
By María Luz Sánchez
The Book
Robert Stenson was a young Southern Californian, computer science student, book lover and sportsman. He was also a bit weird: his whole life revolved around a book.
The book was known to have a curse.
It was known that Robert had spent years looking for it.
It was known that Robert found the book.
It was known that after that nothhing else was heard of Robert.
By David Martín
Living without you
I hate you. I’ve lost my family, my friends…all, for you.You only have been in my life when you’ve wanted and now…you’re gone. I miss you. I thought I could live without you, but I realize that’s impossible.
I can’t any more. I know that you’ve hurted me but I need you. I don’t know that I must do. Sometimes it seems very easy, other times… it’s very difficult. I'm ashamed of myself because you have never loved me and, however, I’ve always been crazy about you.
These words have been my thoughts until now.No more - I’m a new person, I can breath, I can smile, I can walk, I’m independent. Now…I can be happy.
At least I can move forward without looking back. I have hope. I have changed.
I can live calm ‘cause I’ve defeated alcohol.
By Marta Estévez
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